Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
Randomize
