is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
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