I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
