Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
Randomize
