I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
So much rum. So many feels.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
Randomize
