Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
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