I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
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