i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
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