i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
Randomize