Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
Randomize
