WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
