i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
I need to stop coming to work sober
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
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