ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize