sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize
