i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
Randomize
