He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
I deserve this hangover.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
Randomize
