so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
wow bdsm is so cute
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Randomize
