I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Randomize