I can tuck mytits in my pants
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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