apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
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No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
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Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
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