I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
Randomize
