She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
Randomize
