woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
Randomize
