Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
im holly from the hills drunk
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
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