Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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