My brain says no but my pants say off.
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
Randomize