youre lurking in front of me
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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