If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
worst night to have a conscience
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
Randomize
