is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
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