I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
I take back everything I said about communal showers
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.