"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️