All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
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Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
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It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza