Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
I think I won the penis lottery.
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
