wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
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She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
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You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.