He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
Randomize
