If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
Watching her eat just hurts me
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
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