return my video game
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
Randomize
