dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
Cover your peen. We're going out.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
Randomize
