We should be called the Road Head Warriors
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
Randomize
