Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
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