Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
