he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
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