Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
Randomize
