okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
Randomize
