If that was your dad, he is hot
Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
