So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
Randomize
