i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
Randomize
