I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Randomize
