I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Randomize
