Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
Randomize
