I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
Randomize