Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
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