if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
Randomize
