I think I am morally bankrupt
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
