you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Randomize
