You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Randomize