looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
