the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
Randomize
