Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
Randomize
