somebody snuck up and got me drunk
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Randomize
