I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
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