sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
Randomize
