I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
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