I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Randomize
